So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
