I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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