the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
