We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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