She said her name was "party"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
