i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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