Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
