You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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