Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
