I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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