i jhust puked up my retainher.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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