Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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