You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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