Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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