oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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