First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
