I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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