when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
