His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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