omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
