You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
