Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize