Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
