FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
