You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
