I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
