I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
