finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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