Me. At least after what I've been through.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize