whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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