She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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