Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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