That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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