it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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