I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
