Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
