oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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