I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
