my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
