ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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