if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize