how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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