I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize