I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize