I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
