she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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