At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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