I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
