Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
