Non-Jews are for practice
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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