Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
