I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
