It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
