My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
