fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
