btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
