brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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