"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
