the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
