the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
