Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
