People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
